Happy 2016, lets talk about love!

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Full disclosure: I tend to make vast pronouncements every January 1st with the best of intentions of eradicating some stupid behavior from my life. Let’s lose weight! Let’s be more fiscally responsible! Let’s eat better! Blah blah blah.

You probably know how it goes…I’m usually successful for a few weeks, sometimes more, sometimes less…and these vast pronouncements are then promptly forgotten.

I read an interesting blog post recently that I’ve had on my brain ever since.  It made me think about a lot of things.  And I think hit why I’ve been unsuccessful in making change because of it.  Because I wasn’t hitting the core of these behaviors I’ve identified as undesirable.

Article is here.

Instead of making sweeping resolutions for things I want to change, my goal for 2016 is to focus on loving myself.  And making decisions on a daily basis that may be hard decisions to make, but fall in line with self love.

One of the things that kept bugging me after I read this was ‘do I love myself?’  My immediate answer was ‘yes! Of course!’ So my next question was ‘why?’  

What struck me in my answer to myself was that most of my answers to that were based on my perceptions of what other people think of me.  Because my friends think I’m fun/ny! Because my coworkers think I’m successful. I’m not going to share all or what I thought here…yet…because it’s pretty personal and I’m still processing it.  

I think this is an especially pertinent question when you live with chronic illness. 

Before you think that I don’t love myself, know that I’m actually pretty damn sure that I do.  But my goal for this year is to define the answer to why on my own terms.  To understand my value, and to make decisions, even difficult ones, with that in mind.

Perhaps I’m being Pollyanna here, but I think if I put some real thought and effort into it, I’ll have an easier time with behaviors that I’d like to change.  For me, ‘you can’t do this’ doesn’t work…but I think ‘let’s think about this, but you love how you feel about yourself when you don’t do xyz’ very well may.

I look forward to updating you on this!

Happy New Year- may you all have healthy, happy years. 

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2 responses »

  1. I’ve been following you for a little while now and appreciate your posts enormously. Like you, I was diagnosed with JRA very young. I’m about to turn 65, still with RA, unfortunately out of remission but managing as I always have. This post is so important and I had decided that loving myself, accepting what is is the most important thing I can do for myself. I started this only 3 years ago, getting better at it, and continuing into 2016. Society can encourage us to push on through when sometimes it is not such a wise choice for the individual. I’ve learned, after many years of making my illnesses my enemy and “battling” to have my own way, to find acceptance (often reluctantly) in what everyday brings. I still work as a counselor on a part time basis, care for my adult daughter who has significant health challenges, am married and am blessed in so many ways. You are inspirational with your courage, compassion, persistence and, oh so necessary, sense of humor. Thank you for writing your blog and sharing your thoughts and experiences that are so very familiar to me and, I’m sure, many others with JRA. There is a kinship when one has to live with RA from childhood. Many blessings to you as you live your life with joy and self love.

  2. Funny because during a long Thanksgiving drive, I wrote out some positives I want to include in my life. I’m tired of taking things out of my life and decided that if I put more effort into the things I want in my life it not only shows more love/respect for myself, but the undesired behaviors won’t have as much room to invade my life. I loved the article on loving ourselves. Thanks for sharing.

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