Full disclosure: I tend to make vast pronouncements every January 1st with the best of intentions of eradicating some stupid behavior from my life. Let’s lose weight! Let’s be more fiscally responsible! Let’s eat better! Blah blah blah.
You probably know how it goes…I’m usually successful for a few weeks, sometimes more, sometimes less…and these vast pronouncements are then promptly forgotten.
I read an interesting blog post recently that I’ve had on my brain ever since. It made me think about a lot of things. And I think hit why I’ve been unsuccessful in making change because of it. Because I wasn’t hitting the core of these behaviors I’ve identified as undesirable.
Article is here.
Instead of making sweeping resolutions for things I want to change, my goal for 2016 is to focus on loving myself. And making decisions on a daily basis that may be hard decisions to make, but fall in line with self love.
One of the things that kept bugging me after I read this was ‘do I love myself?’ My immediate answer was ‘yes! Of course!’ So my next question was ‘why?’
What struck me in my answer to myself was that most of my answers to that were based on my perceptions of what other people think of me. Because my friends think I’m fun/ny! Because my coworkers think I’m successful. I’m not going to share all or what I thought here…yet…because it’s pretty personal and I’m still processing it.
I think this is an especially pertinent question when you live with chronic illness.
Before you think that I don’t love myself, know that I’m actually pretty damn sure that I do. But my goal for this year is to define the answer to why on my own terms. To understand my value, and to make decisions, even difficult ones, with that in mind.
Perhaps I’m being Pollyanna here, but I think if I put some real thought and effort into it, I’ll have an easier time with behaviors that I’d like to change. For me, ‘you can’t do this’ doesn’t work…but I think ‘let’s think about this, but you love how you feel about yourself when you don’t do xyz’ very well may.
I look forward to updating you on this!
Happy New Year- may you all have healthy, happy years.