So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking…about getting back on track. Eating well. Exercising. Making good decisions in support of wellness. But also wrestling with how to do all of these things and still have a social life.
I don’t want to be married to a gym or a diet plan.
As I was laying in bed on Friday night…berating myself for going out with friends for dinner and wine instead of going to the gym…I realized that even though I was ‘feeding’ my need for people time, everything else I was doing is just not working for me.
I realized that I miss the sense of accomplishment that comes from working hard and getting hot and sweaty. I miss the camaraderie of my gym support system. While Greensboro wasn’t the place for me in many aspects, I enjoyed working hard at the gym because I always had people cheering me on. Well…I always had one person at least. My trainer. And he was paid to cheer me on…but…technicalities!
I woke up yesterday morning and decided I was going to go to a 45 min Zumba class. I got dressed, choked down some coffee, and was so freaking proud of myself for just showing up.
Showing up at the gym is one of the hardest parts for me right now!
While waiting for the class to start, I noticed that there were a ton of people waiting with me. In costume. With balloons. And signs?
The sign read ‘Welcome to Valentine’s Day cardio dance!’
Oh, now that’s just adorable. I thought the sentiment was sweet. Until we got in there and they announced that the class was not 45 min today. It was 120 minutes.
They had 6 different instructors who were going to teach 20 minutes each.
I almost left. Then I decided I would stick out 45 minutes. Then I started talking to the people around me who convinced me to go for the full 120.
And so it began.
I was thankful for a snack table- I quickly are 2 Cliff bars since I had no breakfast.
The first hour wasn’t bad. They toned down the intensity so we could make it. I got a nice little break during the hip hop segment- yes, I tried but even on my best attempt, I can’t dance like that. I’m really hoping that there are no pictures or video from that 20 minute segment. Let’s just say that everyone else was booty shaking and looking great and the most accurate phrase to describe my actions would be ‘limbs and butt flailing in every direction with no purpose, control, or finesse.’
I’m forever grateful to the women I stood near as we all needed each other for the last 30 minutes. I got really concerned for a moment when my left knee started to feel weird. And then I remembered…oh right, I’ve been dancing for a straight hour and a half and my usual activity level is ‘inert.’
It kinda makes sense that something would hurt…and I’m surprised that was the only thing!
We started cheering for each other. And by cheering, I mean I kept yelling ‘we’re not going to die today!’ I think I was yelling that more for myself, and I don’t think I necessarily believed it at that point in time.
But finished I did, and die I did not!
Afterward, I walked out to my car . A bit shell shocked. I just did 2 hours of cardio. How did that happen?
I felt exhausted. Sweaty. Happy. Proud of myself.
I needed that.
I took a nap, and then met up with a friend for dinner and went to a small party with friends later in the evening.
Best Valentines gift? Seeing that there is a way to balance these things that I truly need right now, I just need to step back out of my comfort zone.