I mentioned last week that I have somehow strangely turned into someone who enjoys cooking: chopping vegetables, using fresh herbs, finding ways to make cheaper at home versions of processed foods I like so that I know the ingredients I am putting in my body.
How did I get there?
I am a Pinterest junkie. I can pin all day if I wouldn’t get fired for it. So for motivation, I started a board where I pinned pictures of skinny people and various workouts. I deleted that board and all its pins recently because…guys… I had it all wrong.
The pictures I was a fan of were all along the lines of ‘thinspiration.’ If you know what that is…or even if you don’t…I think those pictures are dangerous and misleading.
Being female, I already feel the societal pull to be a zero. Even if my body is not made and would look all Skeletor as a zero. Being autoimmunely awesome, I feel even more pressure. Look normal. Look thin. Make sure nobody can tell you’re struggling with RA.
But at what expense does this come for a healthy person? And magnify this expense for someone with rheumatoid arthritis.
Finding this quote really made me think.
Am I making these decisions to work out and change my eating habits because I love myself and my body? Am I celebrating changes I see in my body because they are structural changes I’m making that will in the long run help support joints and make living with RA easier OR am I simply celebrating the number on the scale getting smaller? Do I even really love myself and my body? Can I say anything nice about my body? Well…why the heck not?
I was really surprised at my answers and motivations, and I’ll admit it scared me. I want to be skinny. I want to be normal. But none of those things connected to cultivating a lifestyle of wellness nor did I appreciate anything about what my body CAN do. And I feel that looking at it that way and treating myself and my body accordingly is not giving my body and myself what it needs and deserves. I also think that maybe translates into some not so great situations in my emotional life. And I imagine I’m not alone here.
This was not an overnight realization nor is it one that is completely no longer a struggle.
What I plan on getting into is trying to detail how I realized that I loathed my body and in some cases myself, and how I continue to address and try to change that thought process. This is a whole person, multi pronged approach and I expect to have multiple posts talking about fitness, how to work out with RA, nutrition, sleep, you name it. My goal is to post at least once a week.
But for now, a quick statement and a few more (healthier) Pinterest quotes for you.
Today, I love my body for not fighting me on getting up for work after a three day weekend.
And now I’m curious: what do YOU love about your body and yourself today?