When to pull the RA card


I rarely if ever use the fact that I have RA to get out of something and take issue when I hear about others doing it.  In fact, I hate it when people assume I need help with something unless I have very specifically asked.

For the record, I can: use a ladder, carry dishes, haul my groceries in, open doors etc.  But all of these are items that people have tried to force assistance on me many, many times.

I do understand but it’s also frustrating because I feel like most of us are acutely aware of our capabilities and limitations and dammit, don’t limit me if I don’t tell you I’m limited, right?

However, and I don’t know if it’s an RA thing or if it’s more of a ‘I’m not going to do this thing’ because to be fair, my plan for the following would be the same with no RA.

What plan?  Oh, just that tomorrow I found out the building I work in is having its yearly fire drill.  So at 9am, the alarms will sound and all floors must evacuate via the stairs.  Then we get to stand outside in the heat and get cleared back in floor by floor, also via the stairs.

I work on the 8th floor.

So I will be working from home until lunch tomorrow.  Because mama has RA and absolutely no time for that nonsense! 😂




I woke up at 4:30am to catch a flight to NYC for a work meeting and lunch.  I was super proud of myself because I made it to the airport by 6:15, carrying only a big bag with my laptop, notebook and wallet.  This was nice because when I usually travel, dealing with multiple bags, some of which are quite heavy, can really screw with my shoulders and hips for a few days after.

Today was easy.  Well…minus the fact that I got stuck in the security line in the middle of a group of Mormons returning from their mission.  (No offense, Mormons). This one particular guy was determined to help me load my possessions on to the security line and I swear to God, I thought he was going to take my shoes off for me.  He had no way of knowing that I have RA and that I am super sensitive when I perceive people are trying to help me of things I am perfectly capable of doing…but all I could think was DUDE!  Too much talking too cheerfully too close to me at the crack of down and I know you can’t drink coffee but please back off until I get mine!!!!  I feel bad even writing that…I know he was just trying to be cheerful and helpful but I have never been accused of being a morning person.

The meeting and lunch went great…well, the substance did.  I’ve been recovering from a summer cold and I kinda hit the wall of tired around 1:30pm and started coughing again.  When we got back to LGA at 2:45, I had the cough and now a headache.  But my friend who used to be a flight attendant told me that congestion after flying isn’t abnormal.  So fingers crossed.

It was interesting to compare the differences/similarities in how I felt with a small bag vs big heavy ones.  I noticed that the more tired I got, the more I changed my walking posture.  I started to have some hip pain…but now I’m not sure if that is due to RA or due to grossly unsupportive footwear.  I know that when I have big bags, it’s much worse.  But I’m curious now if the pain is due to a small flare or more due to just being tired?  Who knows…I went to NY earlier this year with coworkers a week after a tetanus shot that sent me into a super flare.  I’m happy that I was only a little sore and NOT having people worry about how bad I was walking!

My flight wasn’t supposed to leave until 5:05 and for once in my life, I was able to rebook on a much earlier flight. We wound up delayed an hour but I still got home much earlier than I would’ve.

And now…now I sleep the good sleep that comes when you are bone tired.  I’m really curious how I feel tomorrow…

Ice ice baby


So speaking as someone who is always cold, and has always been cold her whole life, I really truly thought heat was what my RA craved.

I would happily sleep in flannel sheets in the summer, I wear sweaters over short sleeves year round, and that one time my heater broke, I thought I was going to die.

Additionally, my go to comfort when I’m flaring has always been the hot tub and steam room at the gym.  Seriously.  I maintain a membership at a more expensive gym simply so that I always have access to that.

So color me crazy when I couldn’t sleep the other night because I was achey…I went to fill a cup with ice to crunch on (guilty pleasure) and I spied an ice pack a friend had left in my freezer.

I saw it and something inside me said ‘try it.’  So I did and I slept like a baby.  I woke up feeling much better.  And I’ve slept every night with it since…

Moral: don’t get stuck on one idea that you think is the trick to feeling better when you haven’t explored the opposite!

Sometimes you have that day…


That day where the only good thing that happened is that you made it through.

Sometimes you have a bunch of those days in a row.

Nothing is wrong, persay.

You’re just so damn tired.

Three nights in a row of sleeping 10+ hours barely takes the edge off.

Then, on night 4, you stay up a little later because you feel a little better.  You get in bed and get chased around by a cat looking for head scratches. 

Then you know everything is going to be fine, that you just need some rest and hot tea and distance and perspective.  

And lots of cat head scratches. 

Just like riding a bike?


I have been wanting a bike for awhile now and a friend of mine gave me this beauty for free because his wife didn’t use it.  (He did ask her before he gave it to me, to be clear.) 

I have had so many bike related plans for a long time.  Biking the park near my house.  Joining a bike group to meet new people and hopefully get better at biking. Taking it to the beach with me and riding around there.  Finding something new that keeps me active but is low impact on my joints.

I’ve been so excited.  

But truth be told…

I haven’t ridden a bike since middle school and relearning how to ride a bike while dealing with RA, is NOT just like riding a bike.

In fact, here’s where the bike lives right now:

Don’t judge the clutter.  It’s inside because stupid people have been stealing things off patios in my neighborhood and someone recently stole a LAUNDRY basket off mine.  Jokes on the thief: the laundry basket was from the dollar store. But still, the bike stays inside now. And sadly, I haven’t ridden much.

I’ve rode it in my parking lot and around the track at the school near me on weekends but I’m actually quite terrified of it now that it’s an option.

I’m afraid of falling off and hurting my wrists.  It has hand brakes and when I use them, it feels like I’m going to fly over the handlebars and break my teeth.  I’m afraid of biking over the speed of tortoise, especially going downhill, because I have visions of me somehow falling off and having to dig rock out of my leg.  I’m afraid of….

I’m totally overthinking this, aren’t I?

I’m frustrated with myself because I don’t like operating out of a place of fear. I know this sounds silly because in the grand scheme of things it’s not a huge deal.  But I was excited about it and haven’t been able to do any of the things I wanted to do because it scares me.

I try to write about overcoming the limitations of RA but it’s fair to say that sometimes it’s not that easy.  

I’m going to keep trying.  I have a good friend who is going to help me.  I’ve found a group that teaches new riders about their bikes through a Saturday morning clinic once a month. I’m going to try that too although if it’s all children and my 37 year old self 😂😂😂

As long as we try, we grow, right?

Spring cleaning, sorta


Sorta because you know, it’s mid February.  But it’s almost 80 here in NC and that means that I officially have spring fever.

That also officially means that I’m in NC and it very well could snow in three days. February in NC can be fickle like that.

But I always feel better in warmer weather and today, I woke up well rested and feeling great.  

I went to the store and bought potting soil and started the process of opening my patio for the season.  I.E. I put the dirt in the pots in case in snows again.  I’m looking forward to planting things I will ultimately wind up killing in the next month or so.  Team Black Thumb.

I also just finished my meal prep for the week and my laundry.  I take an hour every Sunday and I make all my food for the week because I find I feel better when I eat clean.  Grabbing Tupperware from the fridge is much more likely to happen than making a meal from scratch each night.  For breakfast, I’ll be eating chicken sausage and either tomato slices or half an avocado.  Lunch will be grilled Greek chicken and asparagus.  Dinner will be salad with either chicken, chicken sausage, or black beans on top.  Snack is veggie slices and guac or an orange.

Wow, that last paragraph was thrilling, right?  Just a quick view into some of the time and energy I spend to try to keep myself healthy.

I’m not always perfect at that or at anything…but I do try!

It’s been an interesting week.  Work is great, I feel great, but I had my eyes opened about a friend this week.  So in the keeping with the mantra of spring cleaning, I’m just going to focus on keeping my life springlike and pulling the weeds.  I can’t control my disease or the people around me, but I can control me and I choose to be positive.

Warmer weather is here and soon to stay so I’m just going to do me and roll with it. ❤

Did you know falling in the shower has its own ICD-10 code?


No, that’s not the actual code.  But I would totally understand if it was. 

The fact that there is a dedicated way for medical professionals and insurance companies to specifically record each instance of some poor soul who just wants to be clean and winds up completely wiping out tells me it is certainly a common occurance.  

Yes, where I’m going with all of this is that I recently took a tumble during my nightly ‘get clean and relax before bedtime’ shower.  

Short version is that it happened quickly and I’m fine.

Long version is a bit longer.  My tub is slow to drain and I think soap dried on the tub floor instead of draining when I showered the previous night.  So the following night, when I stepped into the shower right after I turned it on, it was basically a private naked ice skating event.  I literally stepped in, realized I was falling, grabbed at the shower curtain rod with my left arm and the shower shelf with my right arm.  Grabbing these didn’t break my fall but a) slowed me down b) allowed me to pull myself around so that I stayed inside the shower.  I wound up landing on my butt facing the other direction, cracking my head and upper back on the faucet and tile in the process.  I pulled a muscle in my left side from grabbing the shower rod and warped the shower shelf, but landing inside the shower was preferable to falling out and cracking my head on the toilet. I also had some crazy looking bruising on my upper back.

But I’m fine.  No doctor visit required.  But also quite frightening. 

I mention this because it was a wake up call to me that falling in showers doesn’t just happen to the elderly.  I’m fairly stable with my RA right now so falling in showers also doesn’t just happen to people experiencing ambulatory difficulty. 

It happens quickly and can be very serious.  Even if you’re stable in your RA.  Especially if you’re stable.  We don’t want broken bones, especially because in my case, injuries cause flares.

So be aware.  Buy the super attractive no slip mats for your bathrooms.  Use them. I’ve already decided that I’m going to purchase a shower stool if I’m ever having walking problems ever again.  

Even though I’m doing well, even though I didn’t get hurt, even though I’ve been proactive to implement safety features in my home going forward, I still can’t believe it happened and I’m still a bit shaken up every time I shower now.

Protecting ourselves never stops, does it?!?!?