So my last post was in July. Eek. Worst. Blogger. Ever.
It was unintentional. I’ve had plenty of material to share.
- Tried cryotherapy. It was cold. Like really cold. And I realized I still get panicky in enclosed spaces. Particularly if they are freezing and I am in my underwear. It did help, but I’ve got to work on that whole naked and claustrophobic thing.
- Finally allowed my doctor to put me on anxiety medicine. I’ve struggled with anxiety and when I’m really stressed, panic attacks, since high school. I’m feeling much more human, have been able to develop some ‘calming’ techniques that are working in situations that usually bug me out, and am shockingly actually sleeping for the first time in years. I guess it makes sense that you sleep more soundly when you aren’t so tightly wound.
- Bought a bicycle. I state bicycle because I live in the South and when I said bike to someone, they assumed a Harley. Nope. I’m accident prone on a good day. That would be a terrible idea. But so far, I haven’t fallen off the bike. Yet.
- In line with hurting myself in strange ways, I wound up on ten days of antibiotics because my fur child accidentally bit me while we were playing. I realized as it was happening that in the 14 years I’ve had her, she’s never once bit me. Nipped, sure. But a true bite feels *surprisingly different* than a playful nip. By surprisingly different, I mean that my whole hand swelled up and I spent 3 hours at urgent care. On the left is 3 days after, the right is the night of. Public service announcement: I googled how to treat a cat bite a few hours later and learned that if not treated quickly, one could end up hospitalized on IV antibiotics. I’m so glad I learned that a few hours after the bite because I fear what the implications could be for immunosuppressed people. I’d like to retain my hand and not have to explain why I have a hook! I’m fine now.
So clearly, I’ve had a ton going on. The new job is great too and keeps me hopping.
So why the silence?
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and for a great part of 2016, my priorities have been completely out of whack. I’ve been eating horribly…as in eating ALL THE FOOD. And drinking too much…2 glasses of wine a night. Which isn’t bad bad but still more than I should. I’ve stopped exercising. All those together mean I’ve gained weight and feel like I’ve let myself and my health done.
My focus has been work and social. Period. Not gonna lie and say that I’m too busy to blog or to make better wellness decisions. It just hasn’t been a priority.
I miss feeling good about the decisions I make for my body. I miss feeling physically strong. Yes, you can have RA and still feel strong. Even on a bad day, pushing myself to take a few extra steps can feel like an accomplishment and I just haven’t pushed myself to do that. I miss blogging. I enjoy the cartharsis it brings. I like connecting with other patients. I miss not being 100% in the loop on what’s going on in the community.
My project for 2017 is balance. Balance in all things. I want to write again, to connect again, to be the best version of me with RA that I can be. I hope I never have to reset my password to log into my blog ever again.
Happy 2017 to all of you!