When I lived in Greensboro, I laughed that I had ‘Team AJ’- a team dedicated to helping me get healthy. After all, I spent a lot of time there by myself (both willing and unwillingly) and was able to dedicate a significant amount of time to working out and eating right.
I had: a nutritionist, a personal trainer, and a massage therapist.
BUT…I realized after awhile that the closest friends I had there were people that I paid…
That’s no way to live.
And that factored significantly into my decision to move.
I was the thinnest, healthiest, most unflary version of myself that has ever existed post diagnosis but I was miserable.
While I was physically doing great, mentally and emotionally, I was in a terrible place. Between you and me, I’d rather flare a little and not have the people closest to me only be there because they’re on the payroll.
*To be fair, most of those on the payroll have remained there since I moved and they lost their income from me. But still…it’s a hard thing to realize that the people you’re closest to may only be there for financial reasons…I’m a lucky girl*
Since moving back to Charlotte, I’ve gotten out of my clean eating, super active habits. I’ve gained the happy 20, and lost some wrist mobility as a result of not consistently working those joints out to build muscle to support them.
I’m admittedly in a weird place. The girl who usually needs alone time can’t get enough of being around people. Unfortunately, being around people for me means bars and restaurants. Spinach artichoke dip at 10pm is not conducive to healthy living.
Honestly, I’m not terribly upset about the weight gain. Because I was so miserable personally and had no other way to define accomplishments, I took the weight loss/working out a bit too far.
To be clear, I looked like Skeletor for awhile.
But… I was in a weird place in Greebsboro where micro managing my body was the only accomplishment that I had. I’m not going to shy away from the fact that I’ve always had a weird relationship with food and emotions…but I will say that in the midst of my unhappy restricting while working with a nutritionist and trainer taught me things about my ability to control my disease that I had never picked up on.
I’m sensitive to gluten, dairy, and soy products. Beans also make me flare a little which is a sad, sad thing for someone who loves black beans and rice as well as veggie burgers.
B12 shots give me much more energy during the day, which helps this insomniac sleep at night.
Soooooo….after hitting a wall last month and realizing that certain joint pains actually feel better when I use them, this RA chick is sending herself back to a trainer.
Unlike last time, I’m going to try to update as I go rather than update as I see results. It could change but I think I’m going to focus on wrist and ankle mobility as my target areas in addition to weight loss.
I’m excited because, for cost and motivation reasons, I’ll be sharing a trainer with a good friend.
My first session is tomorrow and for once, I will be completely open and honest about my actual weight and joint abilities. I’ll also post what we are doing and how I modify activities to keep up with my friend who does not have RA.
Wish me luck! I’m excited!