How to: survive being in a wedding with RA


As mentioned earlier, 3 weeks ago, my brother got married to a wonderful girl!  I was a bridesmaid, and thrilled/honored to be included in the wedding party…but living with RA brought some concerns that I’d gather the average bridesmaid doesn’t encounter!

A three hour drive to the city, and a three hour drive home on a sleep deficit.

A jam packed schedule with literally no down time starting at 9am Friday morning and going straight through Sunday.

All that standing.

All that dancing…because you don’t want to be remembered as the old stick in the mud.

So what happened?

I initially planned to drive up Friday early morning but once I saw our schedule started at 9am, I left Thursday at lunchtime.

I broke up the trip by stopping at the town I used to live in (a good halfway point) and managed to squeeze in a visit with my rheumy because I haven’t found one here I like.  And because I like the practice I’m at and may stay! And by visit, I mean poking, prodding, and blood work.  

I’m happy to report that I am being taken off methotrexate!!! That definitely pumped me up for the remaining hour or so. My left wrist was still a little ‘squishy’ but we are watching it and will re-evaluate in a few months.

I arrived in Raleigh around 4pm, just in time to go hang with my brother and then meet my parents for dinner.  The best part of the day? In bed by 9pm and slept straight through to 7.

That night was amazing and was the type of sleep I needed to get through the next two days.

Friday at 9am: mani/pedi time with the ladies! I’m in the red shirt.

12pm: Bridesmaids brunch

3pm: wedding rehearsal IN THE POURING RAIN.  It was an outdoor venue and I was terrified of slipping so I literally wore a pretty dress and tennis shoes that I always keep in the car.  Unfortunately, when RA is involved, function beats fashion.

4:30- Head to rehearsal dinner site to help finish set-up.

6pm: rehearsal dinner.  I wound up sitting with my cousins and the preacher…so I tried to be on my best behavior.  I tried sooooooo hard.


But nothing is more fun than taking awkward photos with your brother’s friends to piss him off!

And some cute ones with me and my cousins. Pink dress= me.  Blue shirt = my bro.

I’d like to tell you that I went back to the hotel and got in bed at 9.  I did not.  To which I will be completely honest and give some good advice: be ye not so stupid.

I arrived at the venue at 9am the next morning for breakfast, hair and makeup. Because of the lack of good sleep, this is how I spent most of the morning…

More honesty: that is not a mimosa.  I was tired and achy.  But do you see the yellow Tom’s on the feet in front of me? God bless my new sister in law. 

I think this is a great ‘I feel lousy but I don’t look sick selfie’ because again, I felt terrible.  Moral: sleep, it’s important!

The wedding was beautiful.  I was concerned about tripping walking in and out, but I hear that’s normal.  And my feet took a beating because once we got dressed, we stood until the after wedding pictures were done.  We got dressed around 3pm and the wedding wasn’t until 6.

Pictures were fun but exhausting.  And oops…we dropped the groom!

I was shaky when the reception finally started.  Too little sleep, too little food, too much standing.  

I fixed a good plate of food and sat for awhile.  And ended the night dancing with my adorable grandma who I learned is actually a wild thing!


2 responses »

  1. My dear friend—I see we share something in common–RA–I cried when I saw you sitting on the porch in the rocker—I have been dealing with RA since age 26–I am 49 now. I was looking for something to let me know if I should start blogging about RA and the pic of you did it–thanks for being so honest and open with a wonderful sense of humor splashed in–God knows you have to find something funny to deal with this most awful and debilitating disease. I use conventional and alternative med and that’s what I want to encourage others to do–because, frankly, the conventional meds just aren’t doing it anymore—alternative med is what really works and makes sense! So hang in there sister and wish me luck!

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