Guess who ran a 5k?


In the interest of keeping me honest, I will share this with you:


Don’t judge: a gal’s got to have a little fun every now and then, right?

I’m excited to report that since my last jump rope escapade, I have completed my first 5K in four years.

I guess I should admit that it was relay style and that I only ran .7 miles but still: this lady who has struggled in the past to even walk normally ran!

I joined three friends for the Biscuitville Bowl, thrown by my fave restaurant from high school. If you’ve had Biscuitville, you’d know that it’s like Bojangles except BETTER. I highly recommend the butter biscuit and cinnamon apples. YUM. If you haven’t had Biscuitville, I am so so sorry.

Anyway. Each of us ran .7 miles but each leg had an obstacle. In viewing the course, I decided that the buttermilk slip and slide was the better option; other choices included a climbing wall followed by a sweet tea slide (falling hazard) running through tires covered in grits (slipping hazard), or crawling army style through jelly (um no…just no).

I was third and when my friend ran up and handed me the baton, I took off at NASCAR speed at a respectable pace. As I came upon the inflatable slip and slide, which was like a jump jump with lanes, I saw two ladies holding buckets of buttermilk. As I got closer, I saw them throwing the buckets on the runners in front of me as they ran and jumped to slide.

Immediately I thought OH HELL NO and as I ran to the entrance, I stopped. They readied their buckets and told me to jump as I looked them dead in the face and, like the good team player I am, said ‘you will not throw that on me.’ I jumped and slid maybe three feet, got up and jumped out and guess what? There was no buttermilk thrown on me.

The way I see it, RA patients can try hard but shit gets real if I smell like dairy.

I did still get completely covered in the front but I didn’t have to run the rest of the course with sopping wet milk hair. And believe, everyone else did.

The running wasn’t that bad. Was it as easy as it was 7 years ago? No. But I didn’t hurt and kept it to a moderate pace.

As I ran up the last hill to hand off the baton to my teammate, I saw a very unwelcome surprise. They were spraying us with flour.

I repeat: They were spraying us with flour.

So this RAer who is already nervous about running, who is already tarred in buttermilk, is gonna get feathered in flour?

I think not.

As I approached, I waved my hands and yelled ‘I have contacts in.’ Alas, nobody listened as I ran as fast as I could through the flour haze, eyes clamped firmly closed.

Still, I felt very accomplished when I gave that baton to my friend. My feet were fine, my knees were fine and even though I was covered in a buttermilk/flour paste, I was good.

Today, my butt and abs are screaming at me and I can’t decide if I’m sneezing out pollen or baking products. But my effort has earned me some guilt free goodness and happy thoughts!

8 responses »

  1. How awesome your hard work paid off so well! I loved when you looked them in the eye and told them they were not going to throw buttermilk at you – good on you girl. I am so proud of you for working so hard to reach your goal. It doesn’t matter how far you went, you went your full relay and I don’t see runners being pelted with buttermilk and four. You deserve so much praise and high fives for doing it.

  2. Brilliant to read. I only just came across your blog recently and it was fab to see today’s post. So much of the stories I read about RA are so depressing (which I know of course is can be), but this one has cheered me up! I used to run a lot before being diagnosed too. I have now taken to swimming in a big way and dream of having a try at a triathlon (you always have dreams)!

  3. I’m so jealous! I’m glad you were able to do this. It’s quite an accomplishment. There’s nothing like that achy feeling of “good pain” you get after some hearty exercise (as opposed to the RA “bad pan”). And way to avoid at least part of the mess! I wonder if buttermilk is good for your hair?

    I have friends who have taken up running and I would love to be able to join them, but my joints are too far gone for that. Still, maybe after a few more trips to the body shop for new parts, I’ll be able to join them on some hikes or other less-intense adventures.

  4. Congratulations! As I said previously, you inspire me. I have been having some major problems of late and yesterday I started some light exercise to see if I can stretch this pain out. Is that possible? I don’t know. You keep writing and inspiring me and I will keep trying. Way to go!!!

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