– You roll your eyes at “Look Ma, no hands” because you have to do several one handed tasks with both hands. Unplugging the hair dryer, opening the dryer door, using the pepper grinder.
-You wake up when you roll over onto the TENS machine that you didn’t feel like putting up. You also share your bed with any number of heating packs, tennis balls (to work out knotted muscles), and a tube of Biofreeze.
-Your photo library on your computer looks like a hand fetish gallery because you photograph them when they really swell.
-The phlebotomist at your doctor’s office knows how you like your Starbucks and which pants are your fat pants.
-You don’t blink an eye when you have to give said phlebotomist 10 vials of your tiger’s blood. (Thank you Charlie Sheen- until recently, I liked to refer to my blood as a nice, full bodied red wine.)
-You’ve been annoyed with someone being a know it all about medical stuff so you start throwing around words like DMARD, rheumatoid factor, sed rate, CRP, TNF blocker, IL-9 inhibitor and then inwardly gloat when they shut up already!
-You really do know what the above words mean and can explain the basics of most of the mechanisms.
– You get annoyed at the pharma reps who come to your doctor’s office in the freaking awesome 4 inch patent leather heels that look like saddle shoes that you obsessed over at Nordstrom the other day. So annoyed that when you hear her talking about the merits of a drug you failed that you contemplate using your medical sales background to “detail” against her because not only did the drug not work but you had all the crappy side effects.
-When a coworker asks you which you’d rather do- joint aspiration or pap smear- you don’t skip a beat and enthusiastically respond PAP SMEAR! Awkward….
How do you “know” you have RA?