A New One For Those Keeping Tally


Excuse the language.  Or if it bothers you, just skip this entry. I’m still a little upset.

“No, I don’t run anymore because I have Rheumatoid Arthritis.”

Momentary awkward pause while his hot little brain mulled this tidbit over.

“But…but…but you’re so pretty…”



Vein twitch.


At what point do you think that something like that would affect me having or not having RA or anything else for that matter?

Do you think immune systems ‘immuno-select’ who gets these things based on how people look or how much is in a bank account or what their last name is?


That argument has just as much validity as you being very honest and telling me that “I’m dumb as a brick” and me responding with a whiny “but you look like an Abercrombie model.”

And what do I say to something like that? Um, thanks?  I think?

That’s almost as offensive as telling someone who’s lost 2 pounds that they look “SO MUCH BETTER.”




Can you at least follow it up with a well placed question like maybe ask me what RA is?  Anything? I realize that would ask an awful lot of the gerbil running the wheel in your head but just leaving it at that and then uncomfortably staring at me makes you look like Lord of the Douche, getting ready to do a little jig for me, and makes me feel awful about myself.

Yes, I know Mom.  I know I am being rude here.  You’re right- I was raised better than that.  No, please don’t give me the guilt trippy “I’ve raised horrible children” speech.  You’ve made that point numerous times in my life and I forgive you for making me so mean sometimes.  (I kid.) Yes, I will make sure to let everyone know that you sent me to Cotillion.  Twice.  Yes, I know it was expensive and I’m not entirely sure it was money well spent. Yes, I think you’re right that  maybe his parents didn’t send him because maybe (gasp) they didn’t think it was important.

I’d like to point out that it is YOUR daughter here, valedictorian of Cotillion, who is posting f-bombs online.

But seriously, “you’re so pretty?”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

9 responses »

  1. Makes perfect sense. The prettier you are, the less your joints are affected….

    Or maybe that’s a new symptom of RA? As pain gets worse, your nose expands, your skin turns green, your eyes turn red and bloodshot and your hair thins out and leaves bald spotches so RA = ugly?

    • I think Bridget Jones says that underneath we’re made of cobwebs. Oh wait, that was about being single and not RA. Ha!

  2. Perhaps: “Well, thanks. But sweet thang, rheumatoid arthritis affects my joints, not the way my face is arranged.”

    Or something. He probably thought of gnarled old ladies and couldn’t grok you as one of those. Sigh.

  3. That’s a new one, all right! Wow! Maybe he went home and spent the evening kicking himself, coming up with all sorts of, “I shoulda said…” scenarios.

  4. Ohmigod! I’ve heard the same thing! I’ve been asked “How can someone so pretty have so many health problems?” Umm, thanks? It’s not really a compliment. What does A have to do with B? I felt like they were patronizing me.

  5. Pingback: WAAD Blog Carnival #1: “But you’re too young.” | Systemically Connected

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