And out of nowhere, I’m in full on flare mode.  Laying on the couch, called out of work, nauseous, achy, absolutely no appetite even though I haven’t really eaten in awhile, wrapped around a pillow because that’s the only thing that feels good right now mode..

Not sure why.  I’m no more stressed or upset than normal.  (Although it’s kinda sad that I recognize that lately my “normal” has a continual level of stressed and upset.)  Maybe it’s just a lot of things catching up with me?  Who knows.  All I know is that I’m pissed.  Effing body.  I’M SUPPOSED TO BE THE BOSS OF YOU.  I feed you, I clean you, I clothe you, I spend ridiculous amounts of money on medication for you…..this is really damn disrespectful.

RA- you can officially suck it.  This is so unfair.

7 responses »

  1. oh NO! that completely sucks. I hope that this flare will be shortlived and get the hell out of town quickly. in the meantime, thinking of you and sending warm/healthy wishes to you and your wayward immune system.

  2. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I hope it’s of short duration! One of the hardest things is never knowing when or why the flares hit. For me, it’s usually two things – high and low pressure weather systems moving in and increased activity level when I feel better. The first I can’t do anything about. The second? Well you’d think I’d have learned by now that when I feel good, I should continue my usual activity level and not overdo. Take care of yourself and hope you’re feeling less pain very soon!

  3. Thank you both. I’m just really frustrated. Normally I can feel them coming or , like you said, tie them to some sort of event. Literally, I went to bed fine the other night and woke up feeling like I’d been hit by a truck.

  4. yeah, the never-ending search for a reason is maddening. I blamed one of mine on coffee (probably erroneously) and switched to drinking tea. What can I say- it made me feel better providing some kind of explanation to myself. On the flipside, maybe the flare will dissipate overnight, too! take care of you-

  5. Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading my guest blog post! RA and parenting can be a challenge but it is definitely worth it!

    Each time I have a flare-up I go through everything I ate, drank, and did. I know for me that ANY added stress causes my body to tense up and if I don’t let it go, the flare-up sets in.

    I hope today finds you feeling better and ready to take on the world again!

  6. This is one of the things I really hate about RA: the inability to make simple plans — like even going to work! I mean, I slept like 10 hours last night (of course, I also got schnozzed yesterday afternoon), but I still woke up exhausted and in pain today. So it’s back to freaking bed. Joy. I’m even too tired to read. Blech.

  7. Oh dear – so sorry – amazing how you can still make me laugh with your posts though, even when you’re suffering … so thank you for that! I do hope it clears up soon.

    I’m a firm believer in the fact that sometimes (NOT all the time, but sometimes) flares JUST HAPPEN. There’s no reason in the sense that you can pin it down to something, and there’s certainly no fault.

    So true what Kim says about not being able to make plans, but I’ve decided you just gotta make ’em … and then cancel them if it comes to it! Otherwise you stop living!

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