The Bowling Debaucle of 2009


So, I will fess up and tell you what I did this time rather than take the easy way out. 

I hung out with some friends on Friday and we decided to go all out and have our annual anti Valentine’s Day campaign that night, also known as Singles Awareness Day, rather than Saturday because I had a wedding to go to.  I know….way to rub it in your single friends faces- I won the female superbowl and I’m getting my winner’s ring on the WORST HOLIDAY EVER.  Thanks.  Love you too.  (I’m totally kidding for those of you who don’t know me.)

We started out at a burger place where my friend and her ex-boyfriend get in a major screaming match via cell phone and text message.  Myself and my other friend exchange looks that basically say “They’re both batshit crazy” followed by “Seriously, is this really my/your life?”  I know, I know….the best part of dinner had to be when she screams “I think you’re an evil manipulative person……(long pause)……screw you……fine…..whatever……love you.”  It was truly bizarre.

I had thought ahead this time and wore some sparkly gold flats  that have both the cute factor and the permanant RA erosions on my feet factor covered.  So I figured I was good to go.  Enter Dance Club One.  And we’re the only people in there.  I’m even more psyched  because I’m certainly not going to hurt my feet tonight.  I’m not going to hurt my feet  because I’m certainly not going to dance by myself in a dance club with only 3 other people watching.  If I’m going to dance in a club by myself, there need to be at least 100 other people watching.  Note: I actually did end up dancing by myself much later in the night.  So much for integrity. 

We ended up at the best of both worlds: a bowling alley with a dance floor.  Which was also surprisingly unpacked.  At this moment, I considered myself in the clear.  I was no longer required to dance and even if I had been, I wore appropriate shoes so there is absolutely no chance that I can hurt myself via my RA in any way tonight.  I didn’t knock on wood.  We made our way over to our lane- we actually had a VIP lane-and selected our balls.  I selected a 10 pound- just enough weight to get some good movement going but not enough to hurt my swollen knuckles upon exit. Does anyone see what I should’ve seen coming???

On 3rd or 4th turn, immediately after I hit my first strike, I stepped up to the lane.  I was in true AJ form- trying so hard to look like I am the MASTER of bowling when in all actuality I don’t know crap.  I made sure my shoes were tied, I made sure my shirt was positioned so that I wasn’t flashing people as I turned around but still showed a little bit of fun, I smiled and winked as I made my approach to the edge of the lane, arced my right hand back with the bowling ball in perfect form.  At that very moment, my right ring finger gave out completely and, at full force, I threw the ball directly behind me.  

And then, I straightened my shirt and walked away like nothing happened.

The finger is ok- was just swollen for a day or two afterward.

3 responses »

  1. I”m so glad i found your blog!!! I feel like i am reading some of my own thoughts! Esp. on the post about how everyone wants a gallon of blood from you when you are first diagnosed. I can also happily testify to the fact that I have no STD’s, lyme disease, lupus, a few other types of arthritis, and more.

  2. haha, totally agree about v-day. don’t like it.

    the thought of bowling balls right now…too much!

    You make me look like so lame…staying in and hiding from my RA. haha oh well, i’ll get out soon.

  3. Oooh I feel so guilty for having a good laugh at your expense … but sorry, that really was funny. Not that I don’t truly sympathize and wince at the same time …

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